Category Archives: Life Coaching
Life coaching helps people identify and achieve personal goals. Life coaches help set and reach goals using a variety of tools and techniques. Life coaches are not therapists or consultants but they draw inspiration from disciplines including Law of Attraction, sociology, psychology, positive thinking, and mentoring. Personal Life Coaching is defined by a relationship between a client and a coach, based on the expressed interests, goals and objectives of the life coached clients.
Have you ever had a brilliant idea that made you feel really excited? Were you were so ready to run with it and it could have changed or enhance your life greatly. It could have been anything from an invention, a house move, starting your own business, a change in career or you may have wanted to go back into education, to learn about something you enjoy – as oppose to have to do. Then, as quick as a flash, all those great ideas came to a grinding halt!
The inspirational glow you felt, as you dipped your toe into the exciting world of “I want to do this! This is amazing!” quickly turned into self-doubt, as you climb back in to your warm, cosy cocoon in retreat.
All those enthused feelings of happiness, excitement and motivation simply disappeared into the big black hole marked “I should have done that!”
The niggles in the back of your mind, full of; “what if”, “I can’t”, “I’m not ready”, “I’m not qualified”, “I don’t have the funds”, and so on, go racing round your mind, telling you that you cannot do it because, because, because……
We can all, very quickly, talk ourselves out of absolutely anything and everything. When those feel good moments have passed, we end up listening to our negative thoughts, which drag us down and hold us back. We then beat ourselves up for not taking that leap of inspirational faith and, in the end; we cease all action and go back to our regular day-to-day routine.
This is what I describe as the reverse butterfly effect.
Just to explain, the butterfly effect theories that even the smallest change can have a chaotic effect on something else. This theory has been at the centre of many physics debates, along with the closely related chaos theory, and string theory – where a single atom can affect another, seemingly unrelated, atom.
If we take this idea and translate it into our own lives, the reverse butterfly effect is doing nothing to affect nothing. Yet, if we had just made that big push and continued on the path of inspired action, we could have created a chain reaction. Simply put, if we had just stretched our wings that little bit further we could have created a multitude of positive outcomes.
However, sometimes our seemingly inspired actions are born from a lack of knowledge or confidence. There is a misconceived perception in our minds that we need to put ourselves through a series of education and learning. It makes us feel ready, credible and qualified to tackle our personal, ideal world of creativity, work and/or business. The belief that we need to collect certificates, diplomas, degrees etc. acts as a security blanket, making us feel ready to fulfil our life goals. Nevertheless, this is just another delay tactic.
Cynics, no doubt, would question this notion, given that many people become very successful after their studies. However, by putting off doing what we really want to do right now, delaying our hearts desires, as we don’t feel ready, equipped or qualified, and never realising our goals, through lack of confidence and fear, all leads to disappointment and, in turn, resentment.
The fact is we can never stop learning. We learn through articles and books, through TV programmes and movies. It shapes our thoughts, beliefs, values and we learn invaluable skills and knowledge through every life experience. That is a qualification in itself.
Research, conducted by the University College of London, shows that when we have high level of feel good chemicals in our bodies, we are able to make decisions much faster, by going with gut instincts, relating to how it makes us feel emotionally. Moreover, in order to create those chemicals you need to do something that motivates and excites you. Furthermore, by combining other “happy chemical” triggers into the equation, such as certain feel good foods and activities; we can create cataclysmic and inspired choices to change your life. Therefore, you can quite literally perpetuate yourself into a happy, successful state through inspired action.
Let me throw another, potentially freedom-inducing, theory into the equation.
Let us say we are living a virtual life, much like a video game. We have infinite power and control over the “game of life” and we have the ability to choose several different scenarios, settings and experiences. If we are living the parallel life then perhaps I am not actually writing this, as my true self is in fact on a warm sandy beach in the tropics, and I am controlling this occurrence from under a palm tree. However, as you are also in the tropics on a 50ft yacht your other self is relaying this article back to you. So, as you are not here, I am elsewhere, and this may not actually be happening, I could in fact choose to write (and this is debatable) all kinds of wackiness!
If, at this specific moment in time, we are living our lives in several parallel universes, we could be running alongside our “other lives”, experiencing different things, all at the same time. Moreover, our multiple, simultaneous lives could be our trusty back-up parachute, so if we do go off course we could, in theory, leap-frog to another.
If it were true, would that “reality” give you more abandon, freedom and flexibility?
In any case, it is better to look back on life and say “I can’t believe I did that” than to look back and say “I wish I did that!” So, perhaps it’s best to give in to our inspired thoughts and feelings and just go for it – as they occur to give us the right, individual and unique life experiences. And, just like a video game, we are all equipped, ready to do anything and can achieve our life goals – If only we had the courage and whole-hearted belief in ourselves.
If the delicate little butterfly can break free, fly into the big wide world and cause a spot of chaos then why can’t you?
Original article by Andrea Elliott, previously published on Silent Voices Magazine
If you feel good, and hold onto that feeling, the chances are you will continue to feel good.
OK, lets put it another way.
You watch the news and its chock full of grief, war, famine, death. You think about a really unhappy time in your life and it makes you sad. You listen to melancholy, depressing music and you end up sitting in a zombified stupor, with zero incentive to motivate yourself.
Turn it on its head.
Comedy is on the TV and you are crying with laughter. You are joking about the time you went to work in your slippers and your new boss requested an audience. You have some cracking happy tunes filling your ears, with a big fat ”Yay!” feeling, and you want to dance right there and then!
You can see a pattern happening here, no?
Now, really, really think about the two scenarios and read them again. Did you read one slowly and the other one seem to make your eyes gallop across the page? How did each one make you feel? Well, either I didn’t get the point across properly or I am in my own happy delusional dimension.
To quantify, when you see, hear or experience something negative it does not feel good. By switching off to the negative, and filling your thoughts with something you do like, will in essence lift your spirits, your vibration, your energy and your mood. Life is of course all about choices. You can of course choose to allow negative things into your life – but what good does it do really? Would you not rather choose the positive and be happy?
Whatever positives you want in your of life; whether it be more money, to be physically fit, more confidence, to study and learn more, to be successful in your home and work life, you can attract it much quicker if you feel that is what you will do and emit positive vibes.
When you think about what you want, you know you want it because you believe it will make you happy. Take a look at these two statements:
“I wish I had more money”
“I want money”
The first is kind of wistful, day-dreamy and lacks drive, enthusiasm and raw emotion. Wishing for something may in fact put it further out of your reach, out of your life and it becomes as fanciful as the Philosophers Stone.
On the other hand statement two is more direct. It is clear and describes exactly what you want without the need of additional, unnecessary wording. You can really pour power and feeling into the statement and by doing so you are sending out your positive energy, your positive vibration.
As what you want will make you happy the emotion driving your wanting is happiness. So if you have not reached your goal, your want, the next step is to bring your vibration in line with the feeling you have, when you visualize getting what you want right now. If you feel happy now your vibration is tuned in to receive, as happiness creates happiness.
By being happy right now you lift your vibration and your positive emotions. By consistently feeling good and feeling positive you will bring in your desires much, much faster than if your emotions are on rollercoaster mode. Feel good and get what you want – simple.
Agreed, there are trails and tribulations in life, but by diluting the negative emotions, worry anxiety, fear, stress etc. you will: a) Cope better b) Feel better and c) Deal with them better.
So start feeling good and get what you want right now by doing one or more of the following, every single day.
- Listen to positive, fun, upbeat music.
- Watch your favourite comedy shows.
- Watch your favourite feel good movies.
- Get outside. Go to the park and sit on a park bench or take a trip to your favourite beauty spot.
- Do something silly. E.g. Tell a joke, find a funny clip. dance in the street - to make you and your friends laugh.
- Write down all the things you are thankful for right now.
- Find things that you just love or renew your appreciations for the things you have now. Really feel how you feel when you love your car, your house, perhaps you have seen a must have pair of shoes.
- Exercise. It helps you feel better, gives you energy and helps you sleep better. It does not have to be strenuous – a nice gentle stroll will suffice.
- Eat and drink well. Food and water gives you energy and feeds your grey matter.
- Be spontaneously nice to someone. It will make you feel happy seeing them happy.
- Have a “spring” clean. Clear out your cupboards, drawers, the fridge, sort your clothes and have a good old-fashioned house clean.
- Create and go through your want list. Feel and visualise yourself having your want list and make plans to accommodate your new life.
- Pamper yourself. Soak in the bath for two hours. Have a salon treatment.
- Set aside 1 hour a day. Stop rushing around and take a time out – just for you, no interruptions.
- Listen, watch or read something motivating. YouTube has a plethora of motivational free talks and you can find lots of really good motivational articles on the world-wide-web
- Smells lift your mood. Scented candles, essential oils and incense in your favourite smells will make you feel good, relaxed, warm and happy.
- Air your space. Open the windows and oxygenate your environment and your lungs.
- Have a 10-15 minute power nap. It’s amazing how recharged you can feel in just 10 minutes.
- Buy something you like. It doesn’t need to be expensive. Online shopping is great as anticipate and look forward to receiving your order.
- Write down all the things you do that makes you feel happy. Creating a list will motivate you to do other things and only add to raising your vibration.
By thinking about doing the things you love and by actually doing the things you love you will feel good. By feeling good and raising your spirits and your vibration, you will attract more good things into your life and you will get more of what you want.
So here’s to feeling good, to raising your vibration, and ultimately realising your wants.
- Attracting the Law of Attraction (psychicjeff.wordpress.com)
The words seemed to flow from pen to paper with such speed that it made me ponder, just a little.
I am not saying it is a channelled message but given the ease in which it formed, I still feel I should lend some remark to the energy and power to the written words.
The narrative is presented in the third person, rather than me directly talking to you, the reader, which I also find a little odd…perhaps I am supposed to be detached in some way…or may be it was a personal teaching, for me to understand.
Well, here it is in all its unedited shortness:
Initiating Internal Power
Giving people back their power is about lending them the tools to provoke meaningful, life changing questions of themselves. It is about placing the onus back on them, in a guiding way.
Instead of telling them what to do you are re-empowering their creative thought patterns, for them to guide themselves, by reconnecting with their own intuition and inner guidance system.
It gives them the freedom to search their own inner self, to create the answers to those burning, all important, life-purpose questions. Thus, allowing them to understand their own thought patterns and feelings.
By allowing them to come to their own personal conclusions and therefore, creating their own decisions – through unbiased guidance and helping them to see things from all perspectives – they will feel their internal power strengthen and see the never-ending possibilities and opportunities available to them.
- Healing with The Power of Positive Affirmations (part three) (positiveprovocations.com)
By going with your gut, and listening to your inner self, you can feel happier and strengthen your instinctive, true self.
Just by tuning in to your intuition, and going with what feels right, you can further increase your body’s happy chemicals.
For example: You have a life-purpose decision to make. You have spent hours analysing your options and have come to a grinding, tiresome halt.
Frustrating isn’t it?
Any excitement you felt, going into the venture, has been diminished or even lost forever.
But what if you did not spend all your time (and energy) pouring through the minute little details and you just went for it?
Would it feel exciting, inspired, exhilarating and categorically the right decision?
Granted, not everything in life is soo simple and making potentially rash decisions could have detrimental, short or even long-term effect.
However, apply it to something personal or creative………Something that fires your motivation………Something that you have always dreamed of………
Research, conducted by the University College of London, shows that when we have high level of feel good chemicals in our bodies, we are able to make decisions much faster - by going with gut instincts - relating to how it would make us feel emotionally.
Furthermore, by combining other “happy chemical” triggers into the equation you could in fact create cataclysmic and inspired choices to change your life.
Listening to spine tingling music is just one trigger to induce an exquisitely happy hormone - known as dopamine.
By “spine tingling” I mean music that rocks you to the core, that creates emotion deep within you. Music that gives you goose bumps, butterflies in your stomach and energizes you. It is already proven that school children who listen to their favourite music, whilst doing their homework, complete it much faster than sitting in silence (and believe me I quoted those results tirelessly as a teenager!).
Certain foods, such as high quality cocoa, leafy greens, almonds, walnuts and bananas also increase the feel good chemical, serotonin. Although sugary, processed carbohydrates can give you a quick mood lifting fix the effects are not sustained for any beneficial period of time. Therefore it is better to choose slow release carbs, such as oats, nuts and whole grains. Good quality protein, found in avocado, oily fish and seeds are super foods for raising your spirits.
I know it’s boring but cutting right down on caffeine and alcohol, which actually decreases your serotonin levels, really does help. This, combined with any form of exercise, aids restful and invaluable beauty sleep – which also lowers your need for comfort snacking.
It should not feel too much of a chore to work a few little changes into your lifestyle. And who knows, all these happy feel good hormones running around your system may even kick-start a whole new life and a whole new you!
Do you really know what it is to be famous?
The money, the fame, the “love”, your picture all over the papers and magazines, your songs/movies aired on the national and international stations, the epic-ally fast car, beautiful home and luxury holiday homes across the globe…………………
Getting up at silly o’clock in the morning, on the road 24/7, grabbing a scrap of food when you can, dealing with the media, agents and spin doctors, the general public and the press scrutinising and intruding, not seeing your family for months on end………………..
One is a vision of utopia, the other is – you could say – a life taken over.
The grass can be greener on the other side but the reality can be rather disappointing, if you are not completely in touch with the ”cold light of day” reality, and your research and preparation is lacking.
Example: If you have not played any sport or taken part in any physical exercise since your school days, it is pretty unlikely that you will complete the 4 minute mile on the first attempt. You would prepare yourself, you would get the right running shoes, you would buy appropriate clothing, you would re-acquaint yourself with training techniques, you would plan your first route – perhaps even walk your route a few times and then you would start slowly; jog for 1 minute, walk for 2 minutes, jog for 2 minutes, walk for 1 minute. And so on and so forth, until you are confident and your stamina has increased, and perhaps you might like to progress and take on a running challenge.
The same preparation is required in your life long goals, your hearts desire, your burning ambitions. You need to start with the prep work (remember; fail to prepare, prepare to fail?).
What is it that you really want?
It is very important to work on this aspect and ask as many leading questions as possible, to create the entire picture – both on paper and in your mind. It is also important at this stage to be as honest and objective as possible. Include every small detail, upturn every stone and expose all the aspects of your desire to eliminate any nasty surprises. Are you in the city? Are you in the country? Is the gym large or small? How healthy do you look? What are you wearing? Are you working for a big corporate or self-employed? Is your house and old country manor, a cottage in the hills or a high-tech apartment overlooking the city?
Why do you want it?
This is your “Mr Motivator”, your emotional and physical driver. Why are you striving to become X or why do you want to be Y? Perhaps a better life for you family, recognition and confidence for yourself, financial security, to improve your health, to become a more holistic spiritual person. Why does this specific desire appeal to you and how could it enrich or improve your life?
What does it feel like?
If you desire a Rolls Royce Phantom but have never driven, sat it or even been near one how are you going to realise, and feel what your ultimate goal is really like? Granted, the cars are rare and as there are not many showrooms around, plus would any of us have the minerals to walk into a showroom and ask for a test drive, knowing that the bank account does not quite match the price tag? However, this does not mean you cannot read up every aspect, collect reams of photographs and visualise having the one thing that you want. By visualising your goal you are bringing the whole experience into your reality and you can really milk the feelings – thus providing yourself with the motivation, that pushes you on to make it happen.
Can you see yourself realise your goals?
Yes, “live in the present” is the best advice out there. But there is nothing wrong with a spot of role play and forward thinking. Again, very similar to creating the feelings of having your goal or desire but you are taking it to the next level. This time you are working on the confidence aspect of you and many world-renowned hypnotherapists use this technique, to build a heightened sense of empowerment. You need to observe yourself and really see yourself in your desired surroundings, scenarios and sensations; in that car, house, job or being physically fit. See yourself happy, smiling, confident, enjoying life, enthusiastic, content etc. as you take yourself through your daily dream activities. What do you do when you wake? Where do you go? Who do you meet? What do you do during the day? What materials surround you? What is your evening like? How do you feel when you get into bed?
Are there any opportunities you can create in order for you to experience your desires now?
One of the best ways for you create your desires is to look for opportunities that may be available to you right now. Networking is a great way to meet new people and gain an insight into all types of lifestyles. Ask your extended friends for info and advice, more relevant connections, recommendations etc. and get busy getting involved with the key people, groups, and companies. If there is a particular role you are interested in, could you shadow someone for a few hours? If you want to run your own business could you spend the day with a business owner, to find out their day-to-day highs and lows? Could you volunteer in your chosen field for a few hours, in order to gain that all important experience on your CV? Are there any affordable training opportunities? Perhaps the local government are running free or low-cost fitness or educational programmes in your area? Are there any free competitions that you could enter to win your dream car or a holiday of a lifetime?
Try thinking outside the box and grasp every opportunity by the horns. It is not about being calculated it is about getting you from A to B in the quickest way possible, in order to create your own happiness.
Remember, there is no point in having a goal or aspiration in life if you wistfully wish you had it, rather than believe you can have it. The only thing that is stopping you from holding you back, from who you really want to be, is you…………..
- Visualisation Techniques for Getting Into The Zone (lauramccracken.wordpress.com)
- The universal fedex: getting what you want when you want it (healthy-spirit.org)
- Visualisation to create your goal (newlifeparties.com)
- Happiness is a glass half empty | Oliver Burkeman (guardian.co.uk)
Ever since you were born there was always someone trying to get you to adhere to routine and rules. Feed only 100 odd ml every 4 hours, bath and bed by such and such a time. Then as you get a bit older it becomes, don’t do this, don’t do that. Don’t touch this or you will blow up, don’t stick crayons on the DVD/VHS player, don’t eat candy before dinner, get up! you’ve got to get to school! And so on and so forth.
Every day, in every way, we are being told what to do, from which side of the road to drive on to what we should and shouldn’t eat. It’s a wonder why we are not all in a comatose stupor, all walking around with blank expressions on our faces.
When you were a new-born baby, you pretty much slept, feed and cried when you felt like it – although your parent(s) were told to do things at certain times and read books that told them what to do and when.
But, in truth, you cannot tell a baby to sleep and expect them to instantly obey your command. You cannot tell them they cannot have any more food and assume they will no longer be hungry. A baby will tell you what they want when they want it as they do not understand the concept of the rules.
They say the key to a happy child is rules and routine. And, for many, that philosophy has filtered into adulthood. But it doesn’t have to be that way. One of the REAL keys to a happy life is to challenge what you do, routinely, every single day. Getting yourself out of a continuous loop, the comfortable day-to-day life where you stick to the same rules, times, routines and habits consistently. Just by changing your routine, your environment, even challenging yourself to try new things you can breathe new air into your life.
You have not been put of this earth to stagnate, to create a film of over your pond and wallow there, waiting to be called into line.
So what is my advice? Well, ditch the norm’ and do something different today:
- Change the route you take to work or the school run – you never know it might be quicker!
- Always take the car? Try public transport and get amongst the world a few times a week or, if you can, get a bicycle!
- Are you eating the same old sandwiches at lunch time? Mix it up and try something new, from a different country each day. Something hot, something cold, salads, wraps, pasta, couscous, sweet, savoury, spicy, cooling……..there is a huge choice out there.
- Do you sit at your desk to eat as you are far too busy for a real lunch break? Drop the mouse and go and sit in the park. You will be surprised how refreshed you feel and the amount of work you get done in the afternoon.
- Do you go straight home after work? Why don’t you meet a friend for coffee and a catch-up instead or ask your partner to meet you en-route and just go somewhere, anywhere.
- Is dinner on the table at 7:05pm on the dot and the daily offering is spag bog yet again? Be late, change the time change the menu, buy some new cook books, buy some candles and ditch the glaring light bulbs.
- Gym night Wednesdays night? Go in the morning or change the day. You could meet different people, gain a gym partner, it could be quieter on that day/time….
- How about going to bed when you are tired instead of 10pm every single night?
- Read the same genre of book or only read fiction as opposed to non-fiction? Get into the bookstore and browse for something different
- Change the arrangement of your furniture or change where you place your phone/keys. This will keep your brain in check!
- Have a major clear out – it’s only collecting dust, you don’t use it and you probably never will – be ruthless!
There are soo many ways to keep your life fresh and new.
Drudgery is a perception, a man-made concept, which slowly kills our spirit and zest for life.
So help yourself feel alive and feel good. Do something different today
You can interact with so many different people all across the globe. You can learn, you can share, you can discuss, you can laugh, and you can cry.
I recently asked my network of Facebook friends if they had ever worked with a life coach, and if so, would they share their story with me?
One such friend agreed, and I am soo glad she did. It has given me an insight into the workings of life coaching, from a clients personal perspective. For that I am very grateful.
And this her story, from me, to you………………………………
I would not have thought about, or even paid for, life coaching and in terms of a prize item, I would have favoured a bottle of champagne. But I had won life coaching sessions at work, which was amazing timing. You see, I was at a bit of a crossroads and I think I was ready for a change – more so the on the career front. Strangely enough not long after my win I was made redundant, so it could not have come at a better time.
I did not really know what to expect. I went into the process thinking life coaching was more suited to the executive, business sector. I believed it was more appropriate to the “wanna be” high flyer, looking to climb the corporate and social ladder. Still, given my circumstances I felt lucky, and saw it as a gift from “above”.
However, I was pleasantly surprised. I found the Life Coach tailored her coaching style specifically to me and what I wanted to achieve. My initial obstacle was that I did not know what I wanted out of life so it became a journey of discovery, to find out who I was. Moreover, I felt fortunate that the Life Coach was spiritually aware, as I have always felt more drawn to spiritual, holistic guidance.
The life coaching sessions were conducted over the telephone, which felt alien at first. However, after the first session, I did feel more comfortable and relaxed talking on the phone. There were no distractions or the ability to read each other’s body language – the focus was completely on my life.
Each call lasted approximately 45 minutes. But the first session took longer, as there was a lot of information to divulge. Plus she ran through a questionnaire which I had completed, prior to the call. The main objective of the first call was for her to find out more about me, my life to date, and my current outlook on life.
I found the experience quite soul-searching and the approach was very similar to general counselling techniques. She listened, prompted me to speak, and guiding me to answer my own questions. It was as if she was leading me along a path, in my mind, to think about the present and where I wanted to be in the future - rather than focussing on the past.
She was on the whole understanding, empathic, and she seemed interested in what I had to say. But I did find her a little pushy at times. Her line of questioning really took me out of my comfort zone and deep within myself, to find the answers. I have to say it was uncomfortable, but at the same time a welcomed experience.
I quickly realised that I was plodding through life – the “rat race” – and all I wanted to do was get off the merry-go-round. Without consciously realising it, I was crying out for someone to help me see that I did not need to remain on the ride, that I would not fall over, if I would just take that first step. The life coach confirmed that if I wanted to move forward I could do it on my own.
She underlined the point that life was about the journey and I needed to take note of my desired destination, or goal. I needed to work out where I wanted to be and what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. However, I had a limited number of sessions. I felt rushed and there was no time to explore different options. I had chosen a particular career idea and although it was a good choice, deep down it did not feel right. However, as it was what I told her I wanted, she focused on helping me to believe that I could do it. The life coach also helped me to understand things in a spiritual way and gave me positive affirmations and homework, based on that chosen path.
Then it was time to complete the final task, of actually stepping up and making the new career happen. But it never came to fruition and other situations in my life took precedent. Perhaps it may have been different, if only we had more time or I was in a position to afford more sessions.
That was 3 years ago and I now feel (nearly) ready to take the next step. I feel more equipped now. I have experienced more of my journey and travelled down a few more avenues along the way. I did want to continue the coaching but I believed we were working on a particular outcome, which did not feel right. The rushed, fast track route did not work. Although, in the long run, it has helped me to change my life, increase my confidence and I certainly believe in myself more.
If someone was considering life coaching I would definitely recommend it. It helps you to change thought processes, stops you going round and round in circles and helps you to see things in a different light. It challenges “stuck in a rut” beliefs, not believing in yourself or not thinking your ambitions are possible.
But you must be totally honest, get out of your comfort zone and be prepared to take a leap of faith.
It has been really nice to relive the experience.
It is hard being a physical being, in this lifetime, to have complete faith and trust. And if something does not feel inspired and you don’t feel ”I have to do this right now!”, the emotion and motivation is not there.
By talking about or thinking about doing something in an inspired way, then having a period of time between the thinking and the action, we quite literally talk ourselves out of it and tell ourselves that we are not up to it. Therefore, that certain something that fired our emotion and desire slowly comes to a grinding halt and fear sets in.
……………….But then, if the timing is not right and you know you don’t want to, and it does not feel good, then perhaps it is not the right thing to do. This process kicks in as questions, from the universe:
“Do you really want this?”
“Do you REALLY want this?!!!”
And if the answer is still Yes, Yes, YES! Then it’s all systems go.
It does sound as life coaching gave her some valuable tools to take away and use, when ready to realise her goals.
- Books For Dummies? (holisticwords.wordpress.com)
Not sure why things have been soo tiring this week, maybe I have had a lot on my mind. It is always difficult to concentrate on writing when your thoughts wander elsewhere. I say concentrate but it feels out of context, a little fierce if you like. In the absence of a suitable alternative, I will turn the word into sentences. I don’t really think about what I write, it just happens. However, this week I have come to a bit of a standstill, which has translated in to an internal frustration, questioning why my want to create has been blocked.
When I am on a roll I have a general idea of the subject and some of the points I want to cover, but the connective tissues cover the bones without fuss. I might even start with a single word and take it from there. So that is what I am going to do now and see where it takes me.
This word popped up this week and it has just stuck in my mind. If I dissect the word (please excuse the second reference to anatomy, but it fits) it gives you a much clearer view, on the real meaning of the word:
Re Sent Ment.
What are you thinking now?
How does that word make you feel?
Has it given the word a different slant?
Lets say there is someone at work that you resent. Every time you hear their name or have to interact with them or receive an email from them, you wince. You start to scream inside, your temperature rises and your face visibly contorts. How is that relationship working for you? Has it been noted by your peers? Could it be holding you back in your career?
That scenario works for anything you are resentful about; be it your car breaking down and you are unable to fix it, crossed words with someone who is either here or passed on, an opportunity missed and you’re still kicking yourself, and the resentment you feel for not following your dreams right now.
It sounds rather silly but it can actually be easier to hold on to resentment than to let it go, simply because it crops up in your mind time and time again, hanging around like a noxious odour. Burying it won’t do neither, as suppressed thoughts have a nasty habit of creeping up on you when you least expect it. All these resentful feelings are ment to be re-sent to you over and over again, like the biblical depiction of purgatory. So my theory is that the negative emotions, attached to the re-sent-ment, are re-sent to you in order for you to learn lessons and work through them.
So what could be the best course of action?
Well, analysing your thoughts and feelings really help.
It allows you to delve deep into the very heart of the situation and understand why you feel this way. It can also quantify the level of meaningfulness; by showing you that perhaps it is not as significant as you thought it was. Maybe you need to be more understanding of the personalities or situations around you, seeing people (or issues) as they really are. In terms of personalities, it could in fact be their own insecurities that cause them to act a certain way towards you - and they don’t even realise that it is affecting you.
However, when someone or something has seriously damaged you, or someone you care about, it is very difficult to let your resentment go. But try looking at it from another perspective:
Do you want it to control you or make you feel angry – and thus hold you back – forever?
I’m guessing the answer is no?
If you do catch yourself feeling resentment it is no good shouting at yourself, as you are pouring your valuable energy into the issue. Quietly acknowledging the thought and re-focusing on the good things in life, will not only dispel your uncomfortable feelings but also raise your positivity.
Think of this process as a positive reprogramming of your negative reactions.
The fundamental philosophy of the Law of Attraction is: You get more of what you focus on. Ergo, if you think positively you receive positive experiences, if you think negative thoughts you get negative experiences. So accepting and looking forward, only concentrating on giving yourself a happy, content life is the best possible experience you can give yourself right now.
There has been much talk, between the holistic communities and my close connections, about the energy shifts that are happening, which will take us through the next six months or so. There is a much-needed call for releasing fears and outmoded patterns, which do not provide you with a positive, productive life. Changes are definitely in the air and this is the time to wash away any pent-up frustrations, anger and non-constructive patterns, which potentially drag you down and thus not allowing you to move forward and reach your full potential.
The spring has been such a long time coming for many of us, but it really is the time to clear out you inner wardrobe, cupboards and other hiding places and free yourself of clutter. But only you can choose to scoop up all that unwanted junk mail and post it back to the universe, clearly indicating that it is dealt with and you don’t want it back.
Remember: Life really is ment to be fun, it is ment to provide and it is ment to give you all the experiences that you really desire.
This post kicks off a series on how to find your purpose - and finding your purpose will help you have more passion, meaning, and happiness in your life.
I'm starting with some of the most profound stuff first: how to open your mind. Remember that in the realm of personal development, any external change starts with internal change. So opening your mind is the critical first step.
We are all human, all trying to get on in life and all trying to make the best of our time here. But our emotions and actions certainly create a lot of fun and games. Jealousy, ganging up, he said she said, taking sides……..there are soo many mind games us humans play, on others and ourselves, and is highly apparent in team sports across the world, especially football (soccer). So, on that note, I am going to look at one football player, who is currently being battered from all sides, and try to figure out why he is creating a world of hell around him.
It is a little out of my normal genre, but the psychology really does relate to our own lives………………..
After watching the highlights of Arsenal v Manchester City it is clear that Mario Balotelli, a striker for Manchester City, is proving to be a manager’s nightmare. The player was yet again sent off for some seriously dirty match play. The manager, Roberto Manchini, had that defeated ”Oh for crying out loud, not again!” look on his face, as the player descended back into the dressing room for another early bath. His behaviour off the pitch seems to be just as bad as on the pitch, with a plethora of tabloid stories, comparable to a rock star lifestyle. So, is this 21-year-old Italian footballer really an arrogant, controversial, uncontrollable young man or is he living in a world too fast and furious, for him to cope with in this early stage of his adult life? He seems to be soo desperate to win that it is having a detrimental effect on his performance and behaviour. He probably feels he is losing everything he has worked for, so it is easy to understand why he is losing his self-control. Perhaps he doesn’t want to be part of that team anymore? But his aggressive actions are making him an outcast and jeopardising his chance of a transfer. This talented sportsman appears to have gone into total self destructed mode in the last few months, potentially ending his career for good.
We might not all be highly paid, fast car driving football stars but this scenario also happens in our own lives. And as the saying goes “It’s not the problem that’s the problem, it’s the attitude to the problem that’s the problem”.
The five simple points below offer you some quick tips on how you can make small changes that can positively impact your life.
Although it is not a definitive guide, it may help you to address a particular area in your life that you can change.
Stress plays a major role and can sabotage our right to a happy life. If you have problems then it is better to face them. If it relates to a person, calmly talking about your issues releases any pent-up angst. If it relates to a situation you do not feel you can get out of, quantify the issue by writing down what you can do about it. It can help you to make decisions, put your mind at rest and change the situation for the better.
The releasing of control can also reduce stress. I am not talking about the simple day-to-day stuff you need to do, I am talking about the things you really cannot control: The postman will always deliver a bill, the car will always need servicing, bulbs will always stop working, it will rain when you don’t want it to and the internet will play up just as you are trying to retrieve an important message. So it is much easier to let go and just accept these things.
Reboot Your System
We all need to check in with our feelings every once in a while, to take stock and understand our negative thought processes. By rebooting your positive system every so often you can change the way you react, to potentially stressful situations. It will not only de-stress your world it will also give you a happier, more positive outlook on life. Writing down how you are feeling is the best way to understand and change your perception.
Plan Your Future
Planning not only gives you goals to work towards, it also gives you something to look forward. Want to learn something new? Plan it now! Look at what you would like to do, where you can do it and how you can do it. Want to get fit? Write a fitness plan, buy that fitness magazine, book that induction down the gym. What to advance your career? Think about where you are now, what you have achieved so far and how you can get from A-B to get that dream job.
Better Your Life Now!
There are so many ways to better your life, better your prospects and better your outlook. The key is to make positive steps right now. You can make small changes to your way of thinking, your thought processes and your self belief and you really can create the life you want right now! Visualise the life you want and believe it - because believing you can do it is seeing you can do it.
Balotelli is on his way out of the Premier, but you are in a different League.
So go for it!
What have you got to lose?